Chasing Impossible Dreams
by Silly Kitty Cat
Summary: Bella grew up with a horrible childhood. With a father who beats her and a mother who abandoned her, will she ever learn to trust again? OK, I stink at summaries. OOC, and all human. Rated M for child-abuse and dark themes.
1. Prologue

DISCLAIMER: I am not Stephenie Meyer nor do I own the said books.

_I was shaking in terror bent over the stove cooking dinner as I heard Charlie's cruiser pull up in the driveway. I frantically ran about, trying to get Charlie's dinner on the table. I heard the front door open, Charlie's loud footsteps thumping over the threshold. Hurriedly I got bowls out of the cupboards, but I accidentally slipped, falling, causing the bowl to smash._

_Charlie entered the kitchen. He was drunk. He stared around him before he saw me lying on the floor with a smashed bowl at my side. He walked around the kitchen table, his expression kind. I knew it was just an act; he was going to blow any second._

"_Well well. What happened here Isabella?" he asked, his voice sneering. He would always do this. He would start off being kind; then he would sneer and criticize, before finally becoming violent. Charlie stopped walking when he reached me._

"_I asked you a question. What happened here Isabella?" Charlie raised his voice. I cowered, scared. The old routine was going to begin again. This happened day after day after day. I tried to speak, but my voice just came out as a squeak. Charlie sneered, looking at me in disgust._

"_Get up," he ordered. When I didn't move he bent down and grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled me up to my feet. I whimpered in pain as he ripped some hair hard from the roots._

"_Please d-dad," I whimpered, fighting back tears. If I tried, it only seemed to infuriate him further. Surprisingly he let go of me, pushing me into one of the wooden kitchen chairs._

"_Sit. Now," Charlie commanded. I complied, sitting down on the chair. Charlie walked over to the stove where his dinner lay almost finished. Charlie got a fork and took of the lid of the pot and had a taste before spitting it back out into the pot._

"_What the fuck is this?! Eh?! You trying to poison me or something?! God, you're useless! No wonder Renee left when she did! Just to get away from you, you useless little worm!" I cowered in the seat, the back of it pressing into my back as Charlie screamed at me. He raised his fist and it collided with my temple. I fell sideways onto the table, my head hitting the wooden surface with a sickening crack._

_Charlie seemed to be trying to control his anger. He stood in the middle of the kitchen breathing heavily; his fists clenched at his side, the vein in his temple looking as if it would burst at any moment._

'_If looks could kill, I would be dead and roasted by now,' I thought to myself. I couldn't prevent a small giggle from escaping my lips. I tried to cover it up, pretend it was a cough, but Charlie saw through it._

"_You think this is funny do you? Do you?! You're nothing more than a pathetic little shadow of what Renee was. You drove her away, you stupid little girl! Can't you do a single thing right?" Charlie was right in my face screaming this. Suddenly he disappeared. I lifted my head and looked around the small kitchen. I saw Charlie leaning against the stove again, his hands on the dials, trying not to punch something. My eyes landed on the tomato soup the same time as his did._

_Charlie grabbed the tomato soup and threw it straight at me. I screamed as the hot liquid scalded my skin. I fell onto the ground whimpering. Tomato soup was all over my face; in my already cut temple wound; all down my arms and legs. The boiling liquid seeped through my clothes and onto my skin._

_Charlie stared at me for several moments, fury in his eyes, before calming down and realising what he'd done. He ran forwards, scooped me up and raced upstairs to wash the soup off. He stripped me of all of my clothes, ignoring my squirming at the thought of my dad seeing my twelve year old naked body. He dumped me in the massive bath tub before turning the water on full blast at cold. I gasped and shivered at the temperature, while Charlie grabbed the scrubbing brush and began to scrub hard, erasing any trace of the soup. I screamed in pain when he scrubbed over the raw wounds that had just been caused, but my screams fell to deaf ears. Finally, once Charlie was satisfied that I was clean, he picked dragged me out of the tub by the arm, ignoring my protests and cries. Charlie slapped me across the face, hard._

"_Shut up! If you weren't so useless I wouldn't have to do this. Why can't you just get out of my life?" Charlie spat. He sneered at me once more, before spitting at my feet and leaving, slamming the bathroom door shut behind him._

_I slowly sunk down the side of the tub, crying to myself. I was still naked and shivering; Charlie hadn't left a towel behind. I looked down my body, seeing the bruises everywhere; on my chest, my torso, __and my thighs. Anywhere where no one would see the evidence when I changed for PE at school. On my back were cigarette burns where Charlie had used me as an ashtray. I wrapped my arms around my pathetic body. Would this torture ever end?_

AN: OK, so this is the prologue. If you want more, click the little purple review button. Please. Thankssssss.


	2. Bookstores and Giggling

_DISCLAIMER: I am not Stephenie Meyer nor did I write the Twilight books._

_I do, however, own a copy of each of the books; which are now sitting on my beside table._

"No."

"Please Bella? Pretty please?"

"No! Alice, there's no way I'm going." I glared at Alice, furious. Her large eyes stared pleadingly up at me. Her fingers were clutched around a leaflet for a new club opening – Twilight.

"No." Alice pouted at me. I glared back at her. There was absolutely no way she was going to drag me to a crowded, hot club. Clubs and me did not mix.

"Please Bella? I'll look so stupid if I go by myself!"

"Why?" I snapped. I was beginning to get irritated. Why didn't Alice give up already?

"Because Jasper is working there tonight!" Alice cried. As soon the words left her mouth, her small frame glowed pink with embarrassment.

"And just who is Jasper?" I asked with a sly grin. Alice blushed a deeper red as she told her story. My grin grew bigger with each sentence she spoke.

"So you see, I kinda told him about how and now he wants to meet you," Alice finished sheepishly. I groaned in defeat. Alice's eyes sparkled with excitement, pleased that I'd obviously given up.

"Yay! I'll pick you up at seven. Esme can help you get prepared." The little pixie was bouncing. I glared at her, annoyance creeping into my tone.

"I never said I was coming."

"But you will!" Alice squealed with glee. I cursed at her under my breath. What had I agreed to?

"Can't I just stay home instead? Please?" I begged to Esme for about the hundredth time. She just laughed lightly and continued straightening my hair, concentrating on not burning me. For a brief second I remembered Charlie burning me with my hair straightners because I was home late from school. A shiver ran down my spine at the memory.

"Are you OK?" Esme asked. I looked up into the mirror, mentally flinching at the look. My face looked as ugly as ever. My cheeks low and sunken; my eyes lifeless; my mouth set in a seemingly permanent frown. I just smiled faintly at her, the smile looking scary and unfamiliar on my face. Esme smiled back, although the smile didn't reach her face.

"Time for the make-up." I groaned. When we were younger, Alice had loved to play Dress-Up-Bella. She still did. Esme smiled and pushed a large clump of her wavy caramel hair over her shoulder as she applied mascara to my eyelashes. I couldn't help twitching and blinking while she did it. It was tickling.

"Shut your eyes." I did as told and waited impatiently as Esme added the finishing touches. I had to restrain myself from laughing when she started putting lip liner on. I heard her tut in annoyance; had she gotten something wrong?

"Try not to laugh, Bella." '_Great. Now I have to laugh_,' I thought to myself. I bit myself on the tongue to prevent the giggles from breaking through. Damn make-up being so tickly.

"Done. Open your eyes now, Bella." I slowly opened my eyes and gasped in amazement. The woman sitting in front of the mirror had long, black eyelashes with black eye shadow that made her eyes seem deepless. Her lips were plump and red, as if begging to be kissed. There was no way that this woman was me ... was there? Surely this couldn't be the stupid, ugly, anorexic kid who despised her very existence?

"Are you ready to go?" One of Esme's sleek eyebrows was raised, and a smirk was playing on her lips. I stood up, quickly checking down my outfit: long black jeans that flared at the bottom, a black shirt and a small jacket that was very loose-fitting. All of my clothes were loose-fitting nowadays. It meant that I was losing weight.

'_Thank god. If you keep eating you'll get fat and then you won't be able to fit into these clothes. Wouldn't want that now would you?_' I mentally recoiled at these thoughts. They were right. I would get fat if I ate too much.

"Let's go," I smiled a fake smile as I left with Alice.

"Bella! This Is Jasper. Jasper, this is Bella!" Alice shouted. The music was blaring out deafeningly so that you had to shout to hear yourself speak.

"Jasper Whitlock. Nice to meet you mam." A tall, blonde man held his hand out to shake. It was obvious that under his green shirt that he had several muscles, and was proud of them.

"Bella Swan," I shook Jasper's hand. He had a strong grip; though not so strong that it hurt.

"Ahh. Alice has told me so much about you. You're very pretty, mam." Jasper's English accent was crisp and clear. I smiled tentatively up at him. His eyes sparkled with happiness as Alice stood beside him. He snaked his arm around her tiny waist. It was quite comical. Jasper was so tall and Alice was so small.

"Hey, Bella, want a bloody mary?" Alice asked. I just nodded, having no clue whatsoever what a bloody mary was. Jasper smirked at her, amusement obvious on his face.

"Having fun?" Jasper asked. His voice was kind and he was smiling. '_What is it with people and freaking smiling all the time?!_' I thought, annoyed. Was I really such a miserable cow that I never noticed how happy everyone else was? As I was thinking, Alice rejoined us and shoved a cold glass into my hand. Not even looking at it, I automatically took a gulp. The cocktail trickled down her throat, into her blood, her veins. I was surprised at the sweet taste of the cocktail, but happily enough swallowed the rest of it down in a few gulps. I sent Alice to get another one.

'_I'm going to get properly drunk tonight,_' I thought to myself. '_This should be a good laugh._'

After downing two bloody marys, I began to feel a little bit lightheaded. Alice watched me as I stumbled over to the middle of the dance square, swaying as I went. I started dancing with a random stranger. He put his hands on my waist and swayed along with me to the beat of the song. He leaned down close; I could feel his hot breath on my neck. His hands slipped downwards, grabbing my ass. Startled, I jerked upwards. The drunk grinned at me, lust filling his eyes. Nervously, I stumbled away, muttering an apology. I ran towards the exit and down the alley next to the club. I leaned against the wall and started to breath heavily.

"Well well well. Little girls shouldn't be out on their own at this time of night." My head flew up, startled. The drunk who had grabbed my ass was standing in front of me, blocking my escape if I needed to make one.

'_Shit!_'

I knew I should run, but my brain wasn't registering that fact. Now I properly got a look at the guy I was dancing with, I felt panic stab me. He had yellow, crooked teeth. The skin on his face was peeling away slightly. His fingernails were long and uncared for. As if he'd left them for weeks on end without cutting them.

"P-p-please," I sobbed. I tried to get away, but he tightened his grip on my waist, pulling me closer to his chest. I scrunched my nose up in disgust when I smelt him; when was the last time he washed?

I felt fear overtake my body. I began to squirm, trying to get the drunk's awful hands off of me. '_Where's Alice? Or Jasper? Am I really that pathetic no one cares about me?_' I thought pitifully.

"I'mma gonna take you home and fuck you all night," the drunk whispered in my ear, the words slurring. A few tears that I'd been trying to hold back escaped. The drunk noticed this and sneered. "Come on, you stupid whore." He began tugging on my arm. I tried futilely to resist, but obviously his wiry looking muscles were stronger than I'd thought. With one hand he grabbed my hair, yanking it painfully upwards. The other he pushed against my stomach, pushing me back into the wall. The stones dug painfully into my back.

"Help!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. The drunk hissed and slapped me, shutting me up.

"You're gonna regret that now," he grinned evilly, showing all of his dead teeth. Furiously, he grabbed the opening of my shirt and ripped it open, revealing my bra and bare stomach. He launched his lips onto my collarbone, trying to, what I assumed, kiss my neck. It felt more like he was trying to ravish me. I whimpered and his hand tightened the hand on my hair. I tried moving, but it wouldn't work. He was too heavy. I sobbed heavily now. I was going to be raped, possibly killed, tonight.

Suddenly, the weight of the drunk was relieved from me. I gasped and sunk down the wall, clutching an arm around my stomach. I heard groans, coughing, and the sounds of punching. A bin fell over at one point, the lid landing with a loud rattle on the ground. I was still sobbing and gasping for air.

Finally I heard the sound of a body falling to the ground. Whoever who had been fighting the drunk had either given up or won. I heard footsteps approach me and I looked up in fright, cowering against the wall. A young man was staring at me, concern on his face. Blood trickled down from his right eye and his knuckles were bloodied and swollen.

"Are you alright miss?" a musical voice asked, as soft as velvet. I looked up into two amazing eyes. And then I fainted, my head hitting the pavement with a hard thunk.

**AN: OK, so this is the newest chapter. Sorry it took so long to write. I just didn't seem to be really motivated to write. But then, I sat down, and suddenly got the urge to write this. So I did.**

**I need you guys to review. I don't really want to write a story if it's not going to be enjoyed. The whole reason I write fanfiction is for the enjoyment of others.**

**Anyways. Summer 08 has just begun for me, so I may be busy with my friends and possibly having a job. So.**

**Again, sorry for the long wait. But, the more you review, the more motivated I get.**

**This is done at about 12 midnight for me so its crap because I was at a party beforehand.**

**Happy Independence Day, America. Have a good one.**

**R&R :)**


	3. Twilight

_DICLAIMER: I am not Stephenie Meyer, nor did I write Twilight. I am, however, reading The Host at the moment._

_WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SEXUAL ABUSE. So don't read if you don't like it. It's a big part of this story though so I need to write it. It's in italics if you wish to skip that part.  
_

Sunshine was streaming into my face. I closed my eyes tighter to try and block it out, but it was impossible; it was too bright. Groaning I opened my eyes. White spots blocked my vision for several moments before my eyes adjusted to the light.

I pushed myself up and looked around at my unfamiliar surroundings. I was in a strange room; somewhere I'd never been before. Blue curtains had been pushed aside from the window. I could see birds flying around outside, twittering happily. The walls of the room were a light blue, almost a baby blue colour.

'_Where am I?_' I thought. I moaned as I registered that my head was pounding. I remembered that I'd gotten drunk last night. I told Alice that I had a low tolerance for drink but she'd ignored me. Fear knotted my stomach as I remember the drunk's attempt to rape me. '_Not that it would be anything new_,' I thought bitterly. I had to fight tears as I remembered the first time that Charlie had raped me.

_I was six years old. I was lying in bed, sleeping lightly. My bedroom door opened, and the light from the hallway flooded in, waking me up. I squinted and rose. Charlie came in. Confused, I stared at him. What was he doing in here?_

"_Hello Isabella. Daddy's got a treat for you. Do you want it?" Charlie spoke softly, almost whispering. Happily, I nodded. Being six years old, I was excited. Charlie breathed in deeply, and told me to go to his room. I jumped out of bed and half walked, half ran towards his room. I ran through the halls and into his bedroom, instantly looking around for my treat. Charlie came in and gently shut the bedroom door, turning the key in the lock._

_I turned around to ask him why he'd locked the door. Charlie was just smiling. He came over to me, and put a hand up my nightie, stroking my bare chest. Suddenly he picked me up and put me on his bed._

"_Take off your nightie. Daddy's got a special present for you," Charlie cooed. Confused, I removed my nightie. As I did it, I heard the sound of a zipper going down. Charlie was grinning at me, an evil glint in his bloodshot eyes. I gasped when I saw his naked penis sticking out from the zip of his jeans. Embarrassed, I turned my head away. He came over to me and grabbed my small hands, running them up and down his penis. I whimpered and tried to pull away, but he didn't let go. He threw his head back and began moaning. I began crying, begging for him to let go of me_

_Suddenly he let my hands go and pushed me back onto the bed. He reached out and ripped my underwear off. I twisted, not wanting him to see my small naked body. I screamed when he come on top of me and started pushing himself inside of me. I sobbed and begged, but my pleads fell on deaf ears. When he was finally done whatever he was doing, he slapped me, called me a whore and told me to go back to bed.  
_

I began sobbing. This kind of torture had continued for the next five years until I was eleven and finally started fighting back.

I heard the sound of a door opening and I looked up, choking on my tears. A young man was in the room. He had emerald green eyes and bronze coloured hair that seemed to stick up everywhere. '_He is gorgeous_,' was the first thing that my mind thought when I saw him. Then it recognised that he was the man who had saved me from the drunk. He was hesitating by the door, as if he was trying to decide whether or not to go comfort me.

"Are you alright, miss?" he spoke. His voice was as soft as velvet, concern lacing into it. I just nodded, gasping. He looked at me disbelievingly, but let it drop. Cautiously, he came over and sat down on the bed next to me. He slowly wrapped an arm around me and pulled me to his chest, in an attempt to comfort me. His body was tense, as if ready to run. He held me until my tears ran dry and my sobs turned into teary hiccups. My brain registered embarrassment that this guy was seeing me cry. I looked even uglier when I cried, and I expected him to run away in disgust, but instead he just held me.

**EPOV**

I was just setting out breakfast, pancakes, when I heard crying coming from the guest room. Worriedly, I put the pan of pancakes onto the table and rushed to the guest room. I knocked but when I heard no response, only desperate sobbing, I just went straight in. The beautiful woman who I'd rescued was crying hopelessly on the bed.

"Are you alright miss?" I asked. '_Idiot, of course she's not alright!_' I cursed at myself internally, mentally smacking my head at the stupidity of the question.

Uncertain of what to do, I faltered by the door, unsure whether or not to comfort the woman. I wanted to comfort her, to tell her that everything would be alright, but I couldn't seem to get the words out. Cautiously, I crossed the room and joined her on the bed. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to my chest, holding her as she cried. I didn't know why, but I felt my heart breaking into millions of pieces at her pain. '_Could I be in love?_' I thought to myself. My heart began beating faster at that thought. I held the beautiful woman in my arms as she cried. Finally she stopped, her sobs slowly turning into hiccups. Tears streaks were all down my face, ruining her make-up, making her eyes bloodshot. I stared into her warm brown eyes. Two red spots appeared on her cheeks. She was blushing.

**BPOV**

I felt the blood rise to my cheeks as the man stared at me. I bit my lip, unsure of what to do. '_He probably thinks I'm some kind of physco freak who just cries for no reason. You stupid bitch, Bella. You stupid, ugly bitch,_' I thought angrily to myself. But I still felt mesmerised by his emerald eyes.

The man then cleared his throat, looking incredibly uncomfortable.

"Would you like me to contact anyone for you, miss?" he asked politely, but I could tell that he was resisting the urge to flee from me the fastest he could. I nodded, a hiccup escaping, and got my phone out of my pocket. I handed him my phone.

"Call Esme. Can I go wash my face, please?" I hiccupped again. He nodded, his face sober, and pointed to a door to my left. I presumed it was the bathroom. I got up, walking unsteadily, and went into the bathroom. I ran over to the sink, almost crying out loud again at the sight of my face. My eyes were puffy and swollen, my face covered with tear streaks. I turned the hot water tap on and began furiously scrubbing at my face with a scrubbing brush.

**EPOV**

"Would you like me to contact anyone for you, miss?" I asked. I didn't mean to be rude, but she hardly looked like she could say a sentence, let alone have a conversation over the phone.

"Call Esme. Can I go wash my face, please?" she croaked. She had the most beautiful voice I'd ever heard, even though it was hoarse and crackly. I pointed to the left where the en suite was. She stumbled out of the bed, and I got ready to catch her if she fell. She stumbled towards the bathroom and shut the door, turning the lock with a soft click. I heard the sound of running water shortly after.

I looked through her phone address book and selected 'Esme'. I pressed ring and heard ringing.

"Hello?" a soft voice answered, sounding worried.

"Hello. Is this Esme?" I replied.

"Yes. Who's calling?"

"I'm Edward Cullen. I'm calling on behalf of..." I stopped. I didn't even know my angel's own name! "Errm, well, I don't actually know her name, but she told me to call you." I heard someone on the other end, in the background, scoff in disbelief.

"She has brown hair and eyes, if it helps," I said. I heard a gasp and some whispering, and a hiss.

"Are you talking about Bella? You've found her? Where is she? Is she alright?" the woman's voice demanded. Bella. '_What a beautiful name,_' I thought.

"If it is Bella, she's fine. Was she the woman at the club Twilight last night?"

"Yes!" the woman gasped.

"Then it's her. She's fine, but I think that you should take her home. I found her this morning in my guest room having a crying fit. Maybe a panic attack too," I replied. I heard the sharp intake of breath and some more whispering. I strained my ears to try and hear what the whispers were, but I couldn't make them out.

"Where is she?" I gave my address and the phone was suddenly put down. Confused, I pressed the end call button on the mobile. Five minutes later I heard the click of the lock again and my angel, Bella, came out. The tear streaks were gone, but it looked as if she'd been scrubbing so hard she'd begun to bleed.

"I've called Esme, but she hung up after I gave this address. Who is Esme?" I told her. She nodded slightly.

"Esme is my roommate, and one of my best friends. She's like a protective big sister to me. She probably left as soon as you told her your address. And if Carlisle is driving, she should be here soon." As soon as she finished speaking the doorbell sounded, quick and frantic. I got up and went to answer the door. I opened the door to reveal a short, curvy woman with soft looking, caramel coloured hair. Bags under her eyes indicated that she hadn't been sleeping well. Behind her was a tall man with blonde hair. His hand was on Esme's shoulder, as if stopping her from leaping right through the door.

"Are you Edward Cullen?" she asked. I nodded, and ushered her and the man over the threshold.

"I'm not sure what happened to Bella, isn't it? Last night I saved her from a drunk trying to rape her and she fainted. Because I didn't know where she lived I took her back here. I was making pancakes when I heard her crying. My only guess is she was reliving last night," I told Esme in a low voice as I lead her to the guest room. The man, who I presumed was Carlisle, looked worried.

"Here." I pushed the bedroom door open. Bella was still sitting on the bed, the expression on her face indicating she was far away.

"Bella? Honey? We're going to take you back home now, alright?" Esme's voice cooed. Bella looked startled, but she got up and almost ran into Esme's arms. Esme held onto Bella's arm as she led her out of my apartment.

"Thank you. Very much," a low voice spoke. I nodded at Carlisle. "I hope we see each other again." And with that, they left, leaving me and my thoughts whirling around like a hurricane inside my head.

**AN: OK, so I felt really guilty for taking ages to update so I posted this. This chapter was quite easy to write after I'd gotten past the scene where Bella is first sexually abused. I hope that no one minded that scene, and if they did, please send me a message about why.**

**R&R, please. Reviews get me motivated to write.**


	4. Broken

_

* * *

_

DISCLAIMER: I am not Stephenie Meyer nor did I write Twilight.

Three weeks had passed since the attack at the club. Three weeks since I'd had a breakdown at that guy's house. I hadn't even gotten to thank him. Ever since my mother had left, I'd never trusted men. But I felt a strange yearning, a huge need to be with this guy. As if I couldn't live without him.

"Are you alright Bella?" Angela asked. I looked up at her. I was keeping her company as she waited for her husband, to come home. Her five year old son, Ryan, was running around, giggling, a learning-to-read book clutched in his small fists.

Angela smiled at me happily. She had been my best friend since we were twelve. It was her I'd told about my father abusing me, and it was her that had encouraged me to tell the police. When I did, I'd gotten taken into care and been shifted from care home to care home. It had been an extremely bitter and hard time, but it was finally over. I was the first person Angela had turned to when she discovered that she was pregnant at seventeen. Her parents would have murdered her if they hadn't died of embarrassment; they were strong Christians and didn't want a child to be born out of wedlock. I had been the maid of honour at her wedding. She was my closest friend.

"I'm fine, Ang," I lied. I was far from fine. I couldn't get that man out of my head. '_You don't even know his name. As if he'd look at you twice anyways, you fat ugly whore,_' I thought bitterly to myself.

"Mommy!" Ryan cried. He raced over to where we were sitting, his fists still clenched around the book. The book was looking a little out of shape.

"Yes Ryan?" Angela said.

"I love you." He ran off again, to the other end of the room where he sat down and began to finish his dinner: fish fingers and beans. I felt my stomach lurch in disgust at the thought of eating something like that; but young Ryan ate it all down greedily.

The sound of a car pulling up in the driveway was heard, and a few moments later the sound of a door opening and shutting.

"Honey, I'm home!" a deep voice seemed to vibrate all around the house. Angela turned pink as her husband walked through the doorway. Jacob Black. His long black hair was tied back in a ponytail and a cheesy grin was plastered onto his face.

Angela jumped up and ran towards him. He laughed before grabbing her face gently and bending down; planting a gentle, but meaningful, kiss on her lips.

"Daddy!" Ryan cried. He ran over to Jacob, his small feet making pitter patter sounds on the floor. Jacob's deep laugh ran throughout the room again as Ryan attached him Jacob's leg. Jacob bent down and scooped his son up, giving him a hug. I almost smiled at this happy family scene.

"Bella! Good to see you again!" Jacob grinned as he spotted me. He put Ryan down and came over; squashing me in a hug so tight I couldn't breathe.

"Jake! Can't! Breath!" I gasped. He chuckled and put my feet back on the ground. Jacob was one of the few males that I trusted. Every since Charlie...I was always suspicious of males. It seemed paranoid and stupid, I knew that, but I couldn't help it. Every time you go through a bad experience, you tend to be wary of it cropping up again in the future.

"Nice to see you again! You gonna stay for dinner, let us get caught up?" Jake asked. My stomach lurched again at the thought of eating. '_Do you want to get even fatter, you cow?_' the voice inside my head hissed. I shook my head vigorously, trying to shake the voice away.

"I'm fine thanks, Jacob. I should probably be heading back. Thanks," I mumbled. He stared at me, worriedly. Irritated, I pushed past him, towards the door. I could hear whispers behind me, Jacob's and Angela's, as I grabbed my coat hanging up from a hook on the wall. Just as I had my hand on the doorknob, Angela came out of the living room.

"Bella? Is something wrong?"

I looked up at her. I felt tired; physically and emotionally. I was fed up of people pitying me, worry about me. But when I looked up at Angela, I saw something. I saw my best friend, twelve years old again, not a young woman who seemed almost foreign to me. This was _Angela_. We told each other everything. We'd looked out for one another since we both started school together. I suddenly realised how much I'd been over-reacting for years. I was twenty years old and still didn't have a place of my own because I'd been too scared to apply for an apartment in case if it was a guy showing me around!

"Yes, Ang. There is something wrong," I almost whispered. I knew Angela could hear me. I opened the door, and left.

* * *

"Here's your coffee, miss," a woman's voice interrupted me. I looked up from my book, _Wuthering Heights_, to see a slightly obese woman with many laugh lines around her eyes holding a cup of coffee. I smiled and took it from her. She smiled back and walked off behind the counter to serve another customer. I was soon lost again in my book, occasionally stopping to sip coffee.

"Mind if I join you?," a familiar voice asked. Frowning, I looked up. My eyes widened when I realised I was looking at the guy who had saved me, that night three weeks ago.

"N-not at a-all," I stuttered. My heart was all fluttery. '_What's going on?_' I wondered. This had never happened to me before. The man smiled at me.

"How are you doing? Bella, isn't it?" the man spoke again. His voice was even softer than I'd last remembered.

"Y-yes, it's Bella. I'm doing fine, I sup-pose. How are you doing? Who are you?" I stuttered. What was wrong with me? The man chuckled lightly. I immediately loved the sound, and wished he could do it again.

"Of course, how rude of me. I'm Edward Cullen. Nice to meet you properly this time," he extended his hand to shake. Shyly, I stuck my hand out and placed it in his. I suddenly felt warm from head to toe, holding his hand. I never wanted to let go.

"Hello? Earth to Bella?" Edward said. I snapped out of my daydreams and realised I was still holding his hand.

"Sorry!" I blushed deep red and Edward chuckled again; louder and for longer this time. His emerald eyes were twinkling with amusement. I let go of his hand, instantly missing the warmth of it. '_What is with you today Bella? Snap out of this!_' I thought.

"No problem," he smiled, putting his hand under the table. The silence between us was awkward.

"So. What are you up to?" I asked.

"I'm just waiting for a friend," Edward replied, smiling. He leaned over the table to read the title of my book. "Wuthering Heights? Really?" he said sceptically.

"Yes," I replied defensively, hiding my book as if trying to shield it from him. "What's wrong with it?

"Oh, nothing, but, what are you doing reading an old novel like that for?" Edward looked like he was trying not to laugh at my book. For some odd reason that made me furious.

"It's a classic. Although I doubt you even know what that is. The longest thing you've ever read is probably a Playboy magazine," I retorted tartly. Angrily, I threw down some money, grabbed my stuff and left, leaving Edward Cullen looking gobsmacked.

**EPOV**

I was passing by the coffee house as normal, ready to get a coffee-to-go, when I noticed someone familiar sitting in a booth. I stared at her for a few moments before I realised that it was Bella.

'_I wonder what she's doing here,_' I thought. Butterflies were fluttering around in my stomach at the sight of her; her feet discreetly put up on the seat opposite her, her nose buried down in a book, coffee sitting beside her. I noticed that she'd gained a bit more weight than when I'd last seen her. 

The last time we'd met, I'd almost been able to see the bones sticking out of her ribcages through her t-shirt. Now, she was looking better. She had slight curves over her hips, and her t-shirt wasn't as baggy on her. Gathering my courage, I walked inside the coffee shop and casually went over to join her. Not that she even noticed my approach.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked smoothly. She looked up, startled.

"N-not at a-all," she stuttered. I had to bite my tongue from sniggering. Had she never talked to a man before or something? Such a beautiful creature like her; that thought seemed impossible. Yet, she seemed to pure, so innocent.

"How are you doing? Bella, isn't it?" I asked casually, making it seem as if I wasn't some crazy stalker dude who knew her name even though she'd never told me it before.

"Y-yes, it's Bella. I'm doing fine, I sup-pose. How are you doing? Who are you?" Again with the stuttering. I chuckled at the cuteness of it. '_You idiot Edward, she doesn't know your name. You've never introduced yourself!_' I realised. I mentally hit myself on the forehead.

"Of course, how rude of me. I'm Edward Cullen. Nice to meet you properly this time," I introduced myself, extending my hand for her to shake. When her small hand slipped into mine, I felt strangely happy. I wanted to hold onto her hand and never let go. Apparently, I wasn't the only one. Bella was looking like she was away with the fairies, still holding my hand.

"Hello? Earth to Bella?" I said jokily, trying to get her attention. She snapped back to reality, her face turning a dark red. I laughed again, louder this time. She let go of my hand and I felt disappointed.

"No problem." I hid my hand under the table and fell silent. It was awkward and was about to break it with some friendly chatter, but Bella beat me to it.

"So. What are you up to?"

"I'm just waiting for a friend," I replied with a smile. I leaned over the table to read the title of the book which Bella was reading. "Wuthering Heights? Really?" I asked sceptically.

"Yes. What's wrong with it?" Bella asked, sounding defensive. She moved her book into the crook of her arm as if trying to shield her book from me.

"Oh, nothing, but, what are you doing reading an old novel like that for?" I asked. I couldn't see why she'd want to read something as boring as a book like that. It was long and went on for pages about what seemed like nothing.

"It's a classic. Although I doubt you even know what that is. The longest thing you've ever read is probably a Playboy magazine," Bella retorted. I stared at her, gobsmacked, as she packed up and left. What had I said?

"Drama queen," I muttered under my breath.

"Hope you ain't callin me a drama queen," a voice boomed behind me. I turned in my seat to see my best mate, Emmett, standing behind me, looking extremely out of place. His hair was cut to a short buzz, and his muscles were sticking out thickly. I grinned as I stood up.

"Emmett! It's been too long!" I cried. Emmett grinned and punched my shoulder, making me stumble backwards a few inches.

"Ooops, sorry mate. Forgot how weak you are," he continued to grin as I glared at him.

"I'm not weak."

"Sure you're not! Now, who's a drama queen?" Emmett asked. I breathed out and sat back down and told him about Bella and how she'd stormed out of here in a huge strop.

"I wonder why," I finished, my mind starting to float elsewhere.

"Heh, who cares me? She's a chick. They always do things like this. Now, where's the nearest bar?" I rolled my eyes. This was going to be an eventful day.

**AN: OK, so, I know this chapter is probably really confusing, but I'm writing it after 1 am for me so my brain isn't working too well.**

**I'm gonna try and speed the story up a bit.**

**Please review guys. The more reviews I get the more I wanna write.**

**Enjoy.**


	5. Smashing

**AN: OK, first off, I wanna say sorry for disappearing for ages. I've not been motivated to do this. In fact, I've even been hiding from it. I know it seems very pathetic, but I was scared to write this. You know what, I'm probably boring you all with this, so I'm gonna shut up and get on with the chapter.**

**Thank you to ****mistresselektra who is my amazing American proof-reader.**

**Also, some of you have been asking questions about this.**

**Bella is twenty, and lives with Esme and Carlisle because she left home as soon as she hasn't had much luck looking for an apartment, so they offer her a place to stay. Hope that clears it up for ya.**

**DISCLAIMER: I am not Stephenie Meyer, nor do I own the Twilight series. I did just finish Breaking Dawn now, though, and it was quite disappointing, actually.**

I sat on my bed, staring at the ceiling, mentally scolding myself. Why the hell did I say that to Edward Cullen?!

'_Because you're idiot_,' the voice in my head whispered. '_A worthless piece of shit_.'

I let out a sob and moved onto my side, curling up into the foetal position, my arms wrapped securely around my legs. Why wouldn't this voice just leave me alone?

I heard the sound of the front door opening, and the low voices as Carlisle and Esme returning home from their date. I could hear the muffled sounds of them talking, the sounds of Carlisle kissing Esme's neck. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I tried to quiet my sobs.

"Bella?" Esme called. "Are you here?" I kept my mouth shut, biting hard down hard onto my lip until I felt the skin break and blood slowly filled my mouth.

"She's not here. Let's go to bed now," Carlisle murmured seductively. I heard Esme giggle and footsteps down the corridor. A door opened and closed, and then it was silent. That was the upside of this apartment. The walls were so thick; you couldn't hear anything from the other side of a wall.

Tears ran silently down my cheeks, blood settling on my teeth, my eyes wide and unmoving. I blinked after a long while, and continued to cry until I fell asleep.

* * *

I woke up to see sunshine streaming through my curtains, as usual. I slowly got up, feeling light-headed and dizzy. I got up, stretching my stiff muscles. I stumbled over to the dresser, cursing as I tripped over my own feet.

I dragged random clothes out of the dresser – a white shirt, black jeans and a dark blue sweater – and got dressed quickly, before looking up into the mirror, and my heart sunk at my appearance. My hair was wild, sticking out at odd angles. Drool mixed with blood had dribbled down my chin during the night, creating a vampire look. My eyes had large bags under them, making my normally dull eyes seemed even more lifeless. My skin looked pale and almost sickly even. I grimaced, and grabbed the hairbrush, roughly dragging it through my hair, my mouth set in a hard line as I tugged the hair through the knots in my hair.

Quietly, I tiptoed over to the door and opened it quietly, cursing silently as the door creaked. I could hear Esme cooking in the kitchen, the radio on, her singing cheerfully to whatever song was on. I tiptoed over to the bathroom door and crept in, closing and locking the door quietly. I then walked over to the door, and rushed over to the sink. I turned on the cold water and splashed it against my face, gasping at the cold hit my face.

After several minutes of slapping the cold water against my face, I looked up. Water was dripping from my face in small, frequent drops. I sniffed, water immediately going up my nose, making me sneeze.

I grabbed the fluffy towel next to me and pressed it onto my face, drying it. I slowly looked up, taking in my reflection. I look slightly better than before. My face looked clean, anyways. I put the towel down, hanging it up messily on the hook. I stared into the mirror, a plan forming in my mind. Esme and Carlisle had put up with me for long enough. It was finally time for me to get my own flat.

Feeling a sudden boost of self-confidence, I walked to the kitchen. Esme and Carlisle was laughing at some random thing. They both looked up as I entered and smiled. I grinned back. For a brief second, surprise was on their faces, and then they were grinning with me too.

"Well, someone seems cheerful this morning," Carlisle commented.

"Yup," I replied enthusiastically. I sat down at the table at the table, and began to spread lemon juice over a pancake, before picking it up in my hand to eat. The voice inside of me snarled and I faltered, the lemon juice slipping over the edge of the pancake.

'_If you eat that, you're only going to get fat. Not that you aren't already_,' the voice hissed in my ear. I gulped, and shoved the pancake right into my mouth, chewing quickly.

'_Screw you_,' I thought to the voice in my head. I swallowed the pancake before eating another. I looked down; I didn't see Esme and look at each other, having a silent conversation. I quickly finished breakfast and look in amazement at the now-empty plate. I looked up in time to see Carlisle quickly lower his raised eyebrows, and Esme plastered a fake smile on her face.

"All done?" she asked sweetly. I just nodded, beginning to regret eating all of that. My stomach felt uncomfortably full and even hurt a little.

"Carlisle and I were planning on going out for the day," Esme said almost patronizingly, as if she was talking to a young child.

"You do that," I snapped. I shoved my chair back and walked back to my room. I felt instantly guilty, but didn't stop and apologise. I hid in my room, staring at the wall, until I heard them leave.

As soon as I heard the front door shut, I was up like a shot. I raced to the bathroom and crashed through the door, landing on the floor with a loud thud. I would probably get bruised knees now, but I didn't care. I shoved two fingers down my throat, and hit my gag reflux. I pulled my hand out just in time to get it away as my breakfast came back up. I coughed and choked as it came up.

I finally stopped vomiting; the contents of my stomach now empty. Gasping and covered in sweat, I leaned down against the toilet seat, clutching onto it as if my life depended on it. The taste of vomit was strong in my mouth. I sat like for a long time, until my body stopped shaking violently. I stood up shakily, my legs feeling weak. I stumbled over to the sink, gripping onto the sides of that for dear life instead. I looked up into the mirror. Staring back at me was someone disgusting, something that shouldn't deserve to live.

"_See, I told you so. Stupid fat bitch. When will you ever learn?_' the voice taunted me. Fury suddenly shot through my veins. My arms shook, but from anger, not from the vomiting. I looked up at the mirror and ground my teeth. I began to pant with rage. The voice continued to taunt me, insult me.

"WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?" I screamed. I drew back my arm and slammed it hard into the mirror. The glass shattered into millions of pieces as my fist connected with it. The glass fell into the sink, and some stuck into my knuckles. As quickly as the rage had come, it was gone. I panted, and stared up at the broken mirror. I was oblivious as to the blood pouring from my hand. I just continued to stare at the broken fragments of the mirror, fascinated.

A noise broke me from my reverie. The doorbell. That was unusual. Were Carlisle and Esme expecting company? Slowly, I turned around and walked to the door, still in a daze. I opened the door to reveal Edward Cullen standing there, looking all perfect.

"Ahh, Bella. I'm glad you're here. Please don't shut the door in my face. I know I've done something to piss you off, but can I do what I came to do?" Edward said quickly, as if expecting me to slam the door in his face. I just nodded absently and he smiled.

"Well, now, firsts off, you left your book behind when you stormed off on Tuesday," he grinned. He held 'Wuthering Heights' in his hands. I automatically reached out to take it from his offering hands. He gasped and grabbed my outstretched hand. I automatically flinched and tried to pull back, but Edward had a firm grip on my hand.

"Bella," he whispered, his voice sounding strained. "What happened?"

It was then I looked down and saw the bloodied knuckles. Tiny fragments of glass sticking out of it, and my whole hand was drenched in blood which was dripping onto the floor.

"I-I punched a mirror," I replied. I felt dizzy, the sight of the blood making me feel ill. Edward looked as if he was about to say some smart-ass comment about that but decided against it. Quickly, he shoved past me and grabbed a tea towel which was lying on the kitchen counter. He wrapped it around my hand tightly, trying to stop the bleeding.

"You need to get to the hospital. Bella, please!" Edward gasped, tugging gently but firmly on my arm. I raised my eyes to meet his. I felt myself getting lost in the emerald eyes of his. They were so green...

I snapped out of my daze and nodded. Edward pulled me out by the hand and pointed his car keys at a shiny Volvo. He placed me in the passenger seat before heading for the drivers.

"We need to lock the doors," I said anxiously. I was beginning to feel a bit faint headed now. Edward cursed and looked at me. I got my keys out of my pocket and handed them to him. Edward ran out of the car and up the steps, locking the door firmly. I smiled. Carlisle and Esme would be devastated if their house got burgled. Edward ran back to his Volvo and slid in, not bothering with doing up his seatbelt.

"Edward. Your seatbelt," I said firmly. If we crashed, Edward would go flying through the windscreen. Edward stared at me in disbelief for a second before angrily putting on his seatbelt. Then he put his foot on the accelerator and we were off.

I knew that we were going fast, but my mind never clocked to look over to see how fast. I just kept looking at Edward's profile. His hands were wrapped around the steering wheel so tightly that you could see his knuckles clearly. His arms were rigid, and his back was stiff. His face was angry. For a second, I felt scared; I'd seen Edward – briefly – angry once before. When he had pulled the drunk off of me. The fear melted away when I saw the sign for the hospital coming up. Edward pulled up scrappily into a parking space and jumped out, his door accidentally hitting a car next to his. Looking around innocently, he ran around to my side, and pulled me out, towards the hospital.

"Can I see Dr Hale, please?" Edward asked the pretty receptionist, almost desperately. I stared at her enviously. She was pretty. I wasn't. She was thin, and I wasn't.

"Certainly," the receptionist replied instantly, flustered. She looked down at a schedule in her hand. "Dr Hale is free in room four."

"Thank you, Jessica." Edward grabbed my elbow, and began to pull me down the corridor.

* * *

**AN: Hehe, so it ends kind of on a cliffy. Since this chapter was longer than I'd intended for it to be, I decided to do a second chapter. It gives you more to review. Haha. Sorry.**


	6. Wondering

**AN: OK, so I felt guilty for not updating for ages, so I decided to do a really long chapter, but turns out I made it too long so I'm going to have to do two. Otherwise we would've been going on forever, and then you'd have gotten bored and stopped reading. Still, it's more for you guys.**

**Enjoy.**

**Thank you to ****mistresselektra who is my amazing American proof-reader.**

**DISCLAIMER: I am not Stephenie, nor do I own the rights to the Twilight series.**

* * *

Edward dragged me down the corridor, glancing furiously at my hand which was wrapped up in the now very bloody tea-towel.

'_Looks like we're going to have to chuck this one out_,' I thought, a little annoyed. I'd liked that tea towel.

Suddenly Edward stopped, but that didn't stop me still going forwards and causing me to trip over my feet. I expected to meet the floor, but instead I felt two strong arms around my waist. I looked up to see Edward looking down at me. His expression was serious, yet his eyes looked almost amused. He straightened me up before knocking on the door.

"Come in," a voice came from behind the door. Edward opened the door to reveal a blonde head sitting at a desk. The blonde head looked up to reveal one the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. I gasped quietly. Her hair curled, ending perfectly at the top of her shoulders.

"Edward! I haven't seen you in here for so long! Is everything alright?" Dr Hale asked, her voice sounding very feminine.

"Not exactly." Edward took my wrapped up hand and showed it to Dr Hale. She whistled and came out from behind her desk, putting on a pair of gloves with a loud snap. I whimpered.

Dr Hale looked at me funny before removing the tea towel. As soon as the pressure was removed, the bleeding started up heavily again.

"Take her over to the bed, Edward," Dr Hale ordered. He did as she said, helping me up to sit on the bed. Dr Hale came over, a tray of medical equipment with her.

"So, what happened here?" she asked, gently picking my hand up and looking at it. I opened my mouth to speak but Edward spoke first.

"She tripped and hit her hand on a glass coffee table," he lied smoothly. I raised my eyebrows and stared at him. He looked back, as if daring me to look away.

"That's not very clever. Ah well. Let's just get these shards of glass out." She looked at me apologetically. "This'll hurt a bit. If you want, I can give you morphine, but it'll take a while to take effect."

I shook my head. "Don't bother." I took a deep breath and looked at the wall opposite Dr Hale and her evil tweezers. I winced as I felt the first of the glass shards being removed. Edward took my hand which was free. I pulled it out of his, feeling uncomfortable. Now that the initial shock had worn off, I was beginning to feel uncomfortable around men again.

Half an hour passed and finally Dr Hale leaned back, exhaling. I looked at my hand, seeing that I now had stitches.

"Well, I think that we're all done here," Dr Hale handed back the ruined tea towel. "I advise that you keep off of the alcohol for the next few days, especially if you're taking pain medication. Come back in two weeks to get the stitches removed. Other than that, you're free to go," she smiled at me. I forced a smile on my face. I felt the great urge to get out of this room. Hospitals always freaked me out.

Edward nodded and walked over to the door, me following. We headed straight for the door. We passed Jessica, the receptionist, who blushed when Edward passed, an evil glint in her eye at the fact that it was obvious that Edward and I weren't together.

'_She's more than welcome to him!_' I thought in disgust as she eyed him up. As soon as we got out the automatic doors, I took in a deep breath of fresh air.

"Come on, I'll drive you home," Edward said, and he started going down the steps. Now that we were out in the fresh air, my mind felt clearer. I glared at his back. Now that I was back in the right 

frame of mind, there was no way I was getting into a car with him. He turned at stared at me, his face frustrated.

"Bella, I'll get you home safe. Trust me," he said almost snappily. Like he was really annoyed at me or something. I had either two options: phone Esme to pick me up, or get in the car with Edward. My fear of men began to creep into my mind and tell me not to trust him, but my heart felt strangely fine about it. Happy, even.

Slowly, cautiously, I walked down the steps and joined Edward in his car. My eyes never left his face as we reversed out of the parking space, out of the hospital, and on the road back to the house. I could never call it home. It felt like I was invading something private.

'_I need to move out. Soon_,' I thought. Where would I live? Well, I'd rent out an apartment, if I could. We were in Chicago, there had to be tons of apartments available. '_Room mate?_' The thought crept into my mind. I hated being alone, but I also hated being around people. I was a lose-lose situation.

As Edward zoomed through the streets of Chicago, an awkward silence in the car. It would have been hard to cut the atmosphere with a knife; it was that cold, like ice. I saw Edward open his mouth to speak, once, but he shut it again and concentrated on the road.

Eventually we made it back it Esme and Carlisle's. Edward turned the car off. I was eager to take off my seatbelt, but suddenly felt embarrassed. It would be so rude if I did that. Considering how much Edward had helped me today.

"Thank you," I said, feeling shy. Edward looked up at me, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Anytime," he said smoothly, a little too smoothly. I frowned. It was almost as if he was upset with me or something. '_What did I do this time?_' I mentally groaned. Had he seen how eager I was to get away from him?

'_He's gonna think that you're a monster. Not that you'd ever have a chance with him,_' my mind laughed at me, but I ignored it.

I took a deep breath and leaned forwards. I pressed my lips to Edward's cheek before pulling away and getting out of the Volvo. I went over to the house and let myself in, closing the door, and closing Edward behind it.

**EPOV**

When I came to her house earlier that day, I'd only been intending on returning her book, but when I saw her cut hand, I knew I just had to get her to a hospital. I'd practically dragged her there, getting angry when she made me lock her front door. She was more important than locking a door. And then she had to make me wear a seatbelt.

My eyes returned to the road as we zoomed through the streets, drawing closer and closer to Bella's house each second. I wanted to know why she had punched a mirror. I'd lied for her in the hospital. I just hoped that Rose would believe my lie. I opened my mouth to ask her, but the question got stuck in my throat, and I closed my mouth again.

The atmosphere in the car was tense. Bella seemed increasingly uncomfortable. I wondered why.

We finally stopped outside of Bella's house. It was silent apart from our breathing. My breaths deep and slow, hers quick and shallow.

"Thank you," Bella said. I looked at her, my lips lifted a little in the corner.

"Anytime," I said smoothly, trying to play it cool. I was trying to control my heart and make it stop beating so hard.

I heard the leather seats of my Volvo squeak, and Bella's scent was right in my face. She slowly pressed her lips to my cheek for a small moment before pulling back. My eyes widened. She took in a deep breath and got out. I watched as she crossed the road, and let herself into her house. I hadn't realised I'd been holding my breath until I let it out. I leaned against the head of the seat.

It felt strange. Bella got under my skin so much; she irritated me so easily. And yet I couldn't help but want to protect her.

'_You're going insane, you know. Getting obsessed_,' my mind told me. I couldn't seem to stop thinking about her. Emmett would tell me that I'm crazy. Though, he'd never met her before.

'_I think I'm in love with her_.'

* * *

**AN: Yeah, so, a crappy ending. I got bored of doing this so I wanted to end it as quickly as I could. Plus, I'm really, really tired, so, yeah.**

**Enjoy. Review, please.**


	7. First Date

**AN: So, yeah, it took me ages to figure out how to do this chapter.**

**I turned fifteen two weeks ago, which was great fun. And being the insomniac that I am, I did this chapter after midnight, purely because I couldn't sleep, so please forgive the crappiness. My brain was like mush, but I was full of energy. Sucks.**

**Anyway. On with the chapter.**

**Thanks to mistresselektra for being my American proof reader. (Check out her stories. Especially 'Wedding Traditions Gone Wrong'.) **

**DISCLAIMER: I am not Stephenie Meyer, nor did I write the books.**

* * *

I was at the kitchen table, reading _Wuthering Heights_ for the millionth time. Esme rushing around, her black dress unzipped at the back, her fingers working furiously as she tried to put her earrings on.

"You know, you still have a good ten minutes till he's here, Esme," I commented, not looking up from my book. I moved my hand to turn the page and grimaced as I saw the stitches across my knuckles. It was a week and a half later since I'd smashed the mirror. I'd managed to clean up everything, so Esme and Carlisle didn't know the truth about how their mirror got smashed. I lied and said that I'd been playing Frisbee with Angela when it happened. Hey – it was possible!

Esme ran out of the room and quickly back in. I raised my eyebrows. Why was with Esme tonight?

"Esme, what's wrong?" I asked. It felt odd, being the calm one. Normally it was Esme. Ever since her and Carlisle took me in when I was eighteen, and couldn't find my own place. Although, I had been trying hard to find an apartment lately. So far I'd found ones that I liked, but none within my price range.

Esme sat down at the table, her hands fluttering everywhere as she opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. My eyes widened in worry and I have stood up to check that she wasn't choking.

"It's our anniversary. Mine and Carlisle's. I'm nervous because I think Carlisle might forget," she confessed, her usually happy face frowning. Carlisle had rarely been here lately. He had to work long shifts at the hospital. I'd seen him a couple of times, but only really to say hello.

"Esme, he won't forget. He's getting time off of work, remember?" I said gently. Esme's head bobbed up and down, how mouth open like a fish. I felt a wave of sympathy for Esme.

"Don't worry. Carlisle will be– " the doorbell rang, interrupting me, "– now."

Esme jumped up and looked at the door. I smiled – something which rarely happened – and got up myself. I handed Esme her purse and went to go answer the door. I opened it to reveal Carlisle. His blonde hair was combed back, a large bunch of roses in his hand. Smile still on my face, I stood aside to let him in, and watched from the far corner of the kitchen as he greeted her with a kiss. He offered her his arm, and they left, Esme giggling and blushing red. The roses lay on the kitchen counter.

I went to the bathroom and over to the bathtub. I intended on having a nice, long, relaxing bath. While I waited for the water to heat up, I looked around the bathroom, avoiding the sink. I slipped my hand into the water to test its depth and heat. Seeing that it was perfect, I slowly shed myself of my clothes and slid into the bathtub, wincing as I slipped on the bottom and fell in a little bit. I tipped the bubble bath in, biting my lip when I accidentally poured too much in.

I soaked there for about half an hour before getting washed. When I washed my legs, I was very careful to avoid the scars I'd caused by cutting myself open with a knife, to avoid the places where Charlie had put out his cigarettes on me...

Ten minutes later, I was sitting on the couch with a pillow in my arms, remote in hand, with reruns of _Sex and the City_ on, dressed in my favourite sweats. I'd ordered a pizza over the phone. It was supposed to arrive within the next twenty minutes.

I wasn't really paying attention to the TV when the doorbell rang. Groaning, I got up and walked to the door, grabbing my purse as I walked there. I opened the door, expecting the pizza delivery man, but instead, there stood Edward, my pizza in his hand. I blinked in surprise.

"Edward? What are you doing here?" I asked. The smells of the pizza were floating around the room, making my stomach rumble. Edward laughed.

"Well, I saw the pizza delivery guy outside and thought I'd save him the bother of going up your stairs and paid him myself. Can I come in?" I realised that I had been just staring at him since I opened the door. My cheeks burned red as I stood aside and let Edward in.

Edward let himself right in, taking off his shoes where the pile of the other shoes was. I shut the door and showed him through to the living room. He placed the pizza down on the coffee table and looked around uncomfortably. I fidgeted, avoiding looking at him.

"Umm ... thank you, for, you know, helping me...last week," I mumbled. I heard Edward's footsteps and then his arms were wrapped around me. I froze in his arms.

"What are you doing?" I shifted on my feet.

"It's called a hug. You know, when two or more people embrace each other," Edward chuckled, and I defrosted slightly, before squirming and getting out of his grasp. Hurt crossed his face for a brief moment, but he covered it up with a smile.

He flung himself down onto the couch, his eyes lighting up when he saw that _Blades of Glory_ was playing on the TV. He looked up at me, smiled, and patted the cushion next to him.

I slowly moved my feet from the spot they were in and sat down, sitting on the very edge. I'd lost the feeling of slight comfort when he had been driving me home. I smiled apologetically at Edward who just stared at me. He rolled his eyes before leaning forwards; grabbing me by the top of my arms, and leaning back, pulling me with him. I lay there stiffly, my instinct to run strong.

"Calm down, Bella. We're just going to watch a movie," Edward rolled his eyes, turning the volume up. "Slice of pizza?"

When the movie finally ended, I had slowly relaxed from my stiff position and was now lying against Edward, nibbling at the crust. The pizza box lay empty on the coffee table which had been pulled forwards, with Edward's feet resting on it. He seemed right at home here.

I looked up and he seemed nervous. He kept swallowing, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down every few seconds.

"I was wondering, Bella, if you would, maybe, be my...girlfriend?" Edward asked. For a moment I thought I'd misheard him. I got up and looked at him. His eyes were looking at me, all hopeful and worried.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Why? I mean, I'm far from pretty and-" Edward's hand grabbed my face, shutting me up.

"Don't ever say that again. You got me?" I glared at him and he glared back, before I finally nodded slowly.

"Good. Now, will you? Be my girlfriend, I mean," he asked again.

"Yes," I nodded. Edward grinned before leaning over and kissing my cheek. He got up off the couch and started to clear up while I sat there in a daze. I had a boyfriend. That had never happened before. Normally I'd shied away from men, thinking that they all thought about one thing: sex. Now, I was going to see whether or not if that was right.

When Edward left, he kissed me goodbye on the cheek before getting into his Volvo and driving away. I shut the door for the third time that evening, my stomach beginning to hurt. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was after midnight.

I slowly climbed into bed, not understanding why my stomach was hurting. My mind replayed the night over. My first date. I smiled into my pillow as I fell asleep.

* * *

**AN: Remember to review. People are subscribing (wow and thank you) but you never review. Haha.**

**(P.S. I LOVE BROOKE X497549857932047029749835749387693028749283748564896785906754)**

**Hahhahahahahaha.**


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